Posts

Showing posts from July, 2012

How've I been

So as you can guess life has been pretty crazy... Not exactly what i thought my life would be like right now, i never imagined that i would be living in Montana for a whole year of my life going to a Boarding school where i do therapy all the time. But I've learned so much and even though not having a real life sucks i still appreciate all that i have been given. I've learned alot about therapy and stuff, and i definently know how to deal with a ton of really hard things, like being taken out of my home and sent into the woods. But its more then just that, i know how to deal with people, and my family and most importantly my self. I never knew how to check in with myself before or make sure that i was okay in the inside but now i have the skills to make sure that i am doing good on in the inside not the outside. I've been doing so well though, and being able to be on the computer right now is so amazing! I havent been on my blog since October... and its July, which is
Image
SEEING MY FAMILY AGAIN FOR MY FIRST HOME PASS!  (in utah)

Stephanie Nielson

So at my theraputic boarding school my therapist introduced me to a book called Heaven is here, i had already heard Stephanie's story on mormon messages but i didnt know she had a book, and her book is AMAZING! and she also has an amazing blog that i love so much! And all of y'all should check her out, and read her book. It'll give you so much hope to love everyone and live your life the right way. And for me it made my life seem like nothing compared to all that she had to go through. So look at her blog! http://nieniedialogues.com/ and then get her book! I was hoping that since i am in Utah right now for vacation from summit that i would somehow run into her somewhere out in Utah but i guess i havent yet, i still want to, and if i do i am definently blogging about it! Hehe :) But also Stephanie definently reassured my love of blogging because she does it all the time too and loves it, and just like how she used and uses blogging as a stress reliever thats what i do

Trusting(Never Again)

This is a song i wrote at my boarding school <3 Why did i stumble, why did i fall hitting my head again against the wall trusting you was so (ooh) easy oh baby whyd you go and betray me I gave you my soul, told you i need you to be there when everything turns blue i spilled all my secrets, my deepest desires and what i got in return was a liar trusting you was so (ooh) easy oh baby whyd you go and betray me why did i trust you to tell me the truth i shouldnt have let myself fall for you your baby blue eyes just pulled me in and at first i thought i'd enjoy the swim(oh, oh, oh) but instead i lost my dearest friend ooh baby, never again trusting you was so (ooh) easy oh baby whyd you go and betray me i told myself i didnt want this again and suddenly im heart broken But what you didnt know is how strong i am now all i need is my best friend to be with me until the end oh baby never again trusting you was so (ooh) e

Its been awhile

this is from last year in march 2011 It's been awhile since i opened up my mind, and actually thought  and pondered my life. I've made some mistakes,  but i've also made some amazing reaches  in life. I've been confused about my emotions for the past fair bit I've tried to hide them all inside but whenever i do that they just want to explode. Friendships are hard to keep altogether, love is hard too, but love is a battle all around. All i know is that i love you and YOU will probably know who you are well, we've made some life decisions.. and yeah their crazy  but we made em, I know that i love you  more then anything I've ever known Ever  which is weird for me, because normally i dont love like that, My emotions are compromised   i dont really know what to do anymore, Life is so insane, its so hard to hold onto, "What am i doing" It's the question i've been asking myself lately, I

A thanks

Thanks to all those who have been there, To all my friends who have written me letters from back home, Thanks to my family who has been there since day one, Y'all dont know how much you mean to me, every letter, every call, every picture means the world to me, I may not have seen you in a long time, but through the words you guys right i can hear your voice and see your face. thank you Grace for being my Best friend, thank you Haley for being there for me thank you mom, for being awesome, thank you dad for the same thing, thank you Alex for being an amazing brother thank you for your acceptance, and your forgiveness thank you Kelsey for being my Best friend at summit thank you Tim Lowe for being my wilderness therapist thank you Joanna for being there for me since i got to school thank you most of all to God for in him i still hope and love and grow in him is everything in life good Thank you all who have come into my life for the bett

New Life, New Time, New Me

Life has been pretty crazy, i must admit. But Life has been so amazing! I went from being depressed and on the edge of a steep cliff. In october i left and its been about 10 months since i've been home. I have learned so much on this journey i have been on and my journey is not over yet. At first when i went to wilderness i was in denial about alot of things. As you can tell by my post called "runaway" that i was upset with my parents, and at that time i hated them. But i have come SOAR from there. I LOVE MY PARENTS SOOO MUCH!  And i am so glad that my feelings towards them have changed and that we have come to a much better. I was in denial about the way i was living my life which at the time of before i got sent away was not the best, i was going agaisnt everything i believed inside and i was justifying all my actions, I was in a really bad place. I didnt know what i was doing and i didnt know how to help myself either. So the main reason/THE reason i got sent away

October 4th 2011- Wilderness

Image
Ever heard of wilderness therapy? I never did until October 4th 2011. When my life changed completely forever for the better even though i didnt think it at first. 5:15 a.m. Tuesday October 4th- two strangers in my room... "wake up"..."your going to a place in Utah"..."you dont need anything" i just remember thinking WHAT IS GOING ON but i didnt fight i didnt argue, i just went and cried. The two people took me away from my house, into a white ford F150, and drove me to the airport, i took nothing with me other then a pen and my journal. I cried the way to the airport, i was so confused. I got to Salt Lake, two super sweet ladies in camping attire came and met me at the airport and took me away in a very dirty truck.  Next thing i know i am in wilderness!  http://outback.crchealth.com/ The middle of no where in Lehi Utah is where i spent 3 months of my life, from October to December camping and hiking and doing therapy. So yea its been along