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Before Its Too Late

* Disclaimer - some profane language  * This poem is about all of us girls who have had eating disorders. Myself included. It is a struggle, one that I have still been working on to fully overcome. Because its not easy to love yourself when you always compare yourself to others. I hope that if you are struggling with an eating disorder you can find help and learn to heal and grow healthier both mentally and physically. And if you are someone that struggles, yet hasn't reached out for help. I want to let you know you can always message me for advice or just to talk about it.  For her its a nightmare. she sits at the table, a full plate in front of her. Eating the first meal of the day even though its already 4 She thinks to herself, I've got exactly 45 minutes  before its too late. When the calories sink in, and I start to gain weight. To anyone else she's perfect. But in the mirror she sees a different story. She hates everything about...

I Feel Stuck

I feel stuck as if my body has been struck by a thousand pound truck. Numb to the world around me I want to be present, but I can't move I can't get up. My body is there I can see it. I watch, my chest slowly rising and falling timid breaths they are. In a dream like state I feel as if I am drowning in a wave of sadness emptiness loneliness. It crashes into me washing everything else away my smile, my happiness my laughter. and turns me blue, With self-doubt, and depression. I want to be happy I cry but I can't. I feel as if no one cares about me even though I know some do. But they are so far away no one is here here with me no one can reach me to comfort me from the fear. no one can catch me when I fall, and wipe away my tears I feel as if inside of an internal prison. Yelling from within but you can't hear me. You don't know that I need you. And I don't know how to tell you. I don...

The Happenings

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I haven't posted for all of 2015 so far!!! Oops, probably because I care more about my website  www.ariannabellephotography.com But I'm sure people still come and check out my blog--where it all began. Anyways! I've done a lot so far this year!  Since January first! I lit off lanterns in the wilderness for the New year And Then I went home to North Carolina for my PTO (paid time off) and I spent 2 weeks there! Was reunited with my Best Friend For Ever And I was reunited with my babes and my lovely parents. It was a great trip back home to NC! And I miss everyone a lot! But now its back to Utah :) And back to Work :)  and those are some pictures from work! Next up on the blog post list is to write a birthday post about my brother!

Merry Christmas from EverGold

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Sweater Weather Music Video

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Foggy Winter Morning Photos

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My hardest Experience Project

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Check out my website for the full description of this project! http://www.ariannabellephotography.com/blog/2014/12/13/myhardestexperience-project Hey everyone! So after this week of work I decided I wanted to create a project in which people share the story of the hardest experience of their lives. My inspiration for this project was that this past week at work in Wilderness, we had a group of 9 girls, and we decided to run a group so the girls could get to know each other and relate to each other in a new way by sharing the hardest moment of their lives. The outcome was beautiful. As soon as the first story had been shared, they were all quiet, they were all engaged 100 percent in listening to each other, they cried with each other, they comforted each other. They got real, and they got vulnerable. And It made them all see that they aren't alone. It made me feel like I wasn't alone. Share you own story with the hashtag #myhardestexperience  You can record(film) y...