Arie Belle Blog

I can't help the feeling that I still get when I know I will see you, I can't stop the muscles in my stomach from tightening, or my hands from shaking and sweating, I can't help that I am scared, and never know what to expect. You left such a big mark on me, such a deep cut. and although it is scabbed over, if you pick it, it will still bleed. It may seem like I should be fully healed, but I'm not sure if I ever will be. I think I will always dream of you, sometimes good and sometimes bad. You are forever part of me, you shaped the way my life has turned out. I can't help from staring at you when I see you, I can't stop the memories of you're lips on my neck, I can't stop the voices in my head that will tell me that I miss you, I can't resist the urge to punch you. I can't make myself hate you and I never can. although it's been 2 years now, the thought of seeing you sends shivers down my spine. I can't help the tears from ...

Sometimes you forget about your past for awhile, you forget that so many things used to be wrong and crazy, and you forget how miserable life used to be because life is so sweet now.  But then there are those moments when you reach into the basket and fish something out  that in an instant brings you back to a moment,  to a feeling, to a memory that happened over two years ago.  I reached into that basket and out of it I pulled an old notebook A notebook that I wrote nasty letters to my parents where I made lists of the reasons I should run away and where I blamed them for my problems It was a notebook filled with hate and with confusion. Oh how blind I was, I was traversing down a path of stupidity, ditching my own family for another without thinking twice. I was being brainwashed by my lover, who would tell me what I should say and why I should leave He made me think my parents were the enemy How could I have believed him? ...