Before Its Too Late

* Disclaimer - some profane language 

* This poem is about all of us girls who have had eating disorders. Myself included. It is a struggle, one that I have still been working on to fully overcome. Because its not easy to love yourself when you always compare yourself to others. I hope that if you are struggling with an eating disorder you can find help and learn to heal and grow healthier both mentally and physically. And if you are someone that struggles, yet hasn't reached out for help. I want to let you know you can always message me for advice or just to talk about it. 

For her its a nightmare.

she sits at the table,

a full plate in front of her.

Eating the first meal of the day

even though its already 4

She thinks to herself,

I've got exactly 45 minutes 

before its too late.

When the calories sink in,

and I start to gain weight.

To anyone else she's perfect.

But in the mirror she sees a different story.

She hates everything about herself,

why can't my thighs be smaller

or my legs a little longer?

why does my stomach poke out,

and can't my boobs be a little bigger?

She just doesn't see 

that she has got it all.

Perfect lips, and bright blue eyes.

A small waist and slender frame,

with curves any girl would be jealous of.

But no matter what you tell her,

she won't believe. 

She's been poisoned with a lie,

the lie that she's not good enough. 

So her self-hate swelters and grows.

As she swallows the last bite

she runs to the bathroom

and turns on the light.

She hunches herself over the porcelain bowl

drinks some water

and cries as it all spills out.

All she has ever wanted is to be beautiful.

But is it beautiful to starve

and purge every meal you ever do eat?

Is it beautiful to have snot dripping down your nose

after you puke up that strawberry milkshake?

The truth is,

that is not beauty.

You are beautiful just the way you are.

You don't have to change yourself 

for someone else.

Fuck "beauty standards" 

because you are so damn beautiful 

just be yourself.

Eat whatever the hell you want.

You only have one life, 

so you might as well eat while you have the chance. 

Stop judging yourself 

for that piece of cake.

Enjoy the taste, 

love your flaws 

just love yourself

Before It's too late.