"I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes"
"Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You're doing things you've never done before, and more importantly, you're Doing Something.
So that's my wish for you, and all of us, and my wish for myself. Make New Mistakes. Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make mistakes nobody's ever made before. Don't freeze, don't stop, don't worry that it isn't good enough, or it isn't perfect, whatever it is: art, or love, or work or family or life.
Whatever it is you're scared of doing, Do it.
Make your mistakes, next year and forever.”
― Neil Gaiman
It is the second day of 2014! Holy smokes 2013 went by so quickly!! But 2013 was AMAZING! So amazing, and I am looking forward to 2014, although last year might be hard to beat!
Neil Gaiman has an amazing quote on how I feel about the new year, about making changes and about making "mistakes". What I think he means by this, is that we need to go for what we love, to love what we do and just do it! To really put ourselves out there, step out of our comfort zones and allow ourselves to mess up, but to mess up for things that are new and scary but all in good intentions. The year before this, whether good or bad, is now behind us. Hold on to those memories, cherish them. Even the bad memories are to be remembered, and one day you'll be thankful for them. Making mistakes is a part of life, everyone messes up, everyone sins. But its when you make the same mistake over and over again that you're life is going no where and you're drowning. But when you make new mistakes, and new discoveries about yourself and about life by trying new things and holding fast to new ideas and allowing yourself to step outside of that comfort zone, I promise that your year, and your whole entire life will be changed for the better.
In some ways a new year is a daunting thought, full of doubt and uncertainty. Which is true, so many things are going to happen that none of us planned for, good things will happen and maybe some terrible things will happen. But why let the uncertainty hold you back from living what you love, and living you're dreams? It shouldn't. And you can do it, you can accomplish the goals you set your mind to, because you are stronger than you think you are. We are all stronger than we think we are. Trust me I would know. I was "kidnapped" and spent 72 in the middle of no where Utah, in the cold, and without tents, without anything you can reach for while your looking at this blog post. You could say I had nothing. But I learned that I had everything. Because I learned that I am not the person who made all those dumb choices before, I learned that mistakes in the past don't define you, they refine you. And I learned above all, that God loves me, and he loves all of us on this earth, and I know he will never forget about me.
2013 was by far one of the best years, if not the best year of my life! I had overcome so much to get to where I was in 2013, I had shed so many tears, curled into so many fetal positions, and did a lot of therapy to be able to make 2013 my year to shine. I want to take you back, to the years before 2013 so you understand how much I had changed, and how far I had come. In 2011, I was depressed and a lost 16 year old. Who hated her parents with every fiber in her being. I screamed at my parents that I wanted them to die, I cussed at them at the top of my lungs. I dreamed about running away, I ran away. I did this, all because I thought they were the devil, I thought they were trying to manipulate me and control my life, I blamed them for all my negative feelings because I thought they hated my boyfriend(which they did) and were never going to let us be together(which makes sense). Because in all reality I viewed my parents as the manipulative liars trying to take away my freedom, when actually it was my boyfriend/fiance who was manipulating me, causing my panic attacks, and my depression and bringing my life into a downward spiral spinning out of control. It took me a long time to realize that my boyfriend was the real root of my problems, because I was so quick to believe him when he would blame my parents, I was so in love and so naive and blind, and head over heels for this boy that his thoughts became my thoughts, and all I cared about was him, not even myself.
Fast forward to October, when my parents decided to send me away. They were afraid for my safety. What would you do as a parent when you're daughters therapist tells you to move your whole family away just because of your daughters crazy boyfriend. October 4th, I left North Carolina, not to return again until August of 2012, 11 months away from home. I was in Wilderness for 72 days, then spent 14 months at a therapeutic boarding school in Montana, in which I graduated February 15th 2013.
I had been through the ringer before 2013, with 2011 being the worst year of my life, 2012 full of pain but also healing, and 2013, a year of pride and overcoming the past.
In early January 2013 I was accepted to Virginia Commonwealth University to study art, at one of the top art schools in the US! In February I graduated High school, along with graduating the program. 10 days later, my mother and I took a trip to Europe and traveled England, France and Italy. We've never been closer. I can talk to my mother about anything, we laugh about the past, and we can cry about it too. She's now a best friend, not my most hated enemy. In march I started my first job at Dunkin Donuts, I loved it. In May, I got my first car, and I turned 18. Also in May I got a house! In June I took a trip to Chicago to visit my best friend from Summit, Kelsey. Over the summer we remodeled the house, and I got ready for college. Over the summer I visited my grandparents in Utah, went on a 2 day backpacking trip in Wyoming, and moved into my very own house! I began college on August 18th, and finished my first semester with As and Bs and a Higher GPA then when I left High School.
I also began writing a book with my mom about our experiences as a family and just my own life story. I have made a lot of awesome art work that I am very proud of, and I am confident in myself and over all so happy and I'm in such a good place in my life. Over winter break I have started my mission papers which is something I decided I wanted to do at the beginning of 2013, and hopefully this year I will go on a mission!
2013 was a blessing, full of love, trials, some tears(mostly happy) and lots of thinking and growing. I am excited about 2014, I know I can do whatever I want to do, and I have the strength to accomplish my goals. I am not afraid to make mistakes, but I will have to work on stepping out of my comfort zone more often.
This year I have some goals in mind that I want to share. (sharing your goals makes it more likely to keep them going)
First, I want to take a picture of something I am grateful for everyday. (either with my phone or my camera) In a way, I also want to work on my photography every single day.
Second, I want to draw something at least three times a week, and the bigger goal is to draw something every day! I already messed up on that one... but I will succeed.
Third, I want to work out. Like actually go to the gym. The gym at my school is one of the nicest college gyms in the states, and I haven't utilized it to my full potential. I would also just love to be fit, able to run without dying, and have a toned body.
Fourth, I want to eat healthier. I will cave here and there for my favorite sugary things. But I want to avoid sugars, and white flour, and processed foods as much as I possibly can.
Fifth, I want to share the gospel and my religion more, I want to be more charitable to everyone around me, and I want to hold strong to what I believe and know is true. I also want to serve a mission!!! And I hope that all works out! (I'll keep you posted)
Lastly, I want to finish the book that me and my mother are writing. It will be awesome, I hope it gets published, and I also think my life should be a movie, because honestly it was so dramatic back in the day, you'd love it.
To anyone who actually took the time to read this, even with all my grammar mistakes and what not, Thank you. Thank you to everyone who has made 2013 an amazing year for me! 2014 will be amazing, only if you want it to be.
With love, Arianna
So that's my wish for you, and all of us, and my wish for myself. Make New Mistakes. Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make mistakes nobody's ever made before. Don't freeze, don't stop, don't worry that it isn't good enough, or it isn't perfect, whatever it is: art, or love, or work or family or life.
Whatever it is you're scared of doing, Do it.
Make your mistakes, next year and forever.”
― Neil Gaiman
It is the second day of 2014! Holy smokes 2013 went by so quickly!! But 2013 was AMAZING! So amazing, and I am looking forward to 2014, although last year might be hard to beat!
Neil Gaiman has an amazing quote on how I feel about the new year, about making changes and about making "mistakes". What I think he means by this, is that we need to go for what we love, to love what we do and just do it! To really put ourselves out there, step out of our comfort zones and allow ourselves to mess up, but to mess up for things that are new and scary but all in good intentions. The year before this, whether good or bad, is now behind us. Hold on to those memories, cherish them. Even the bad memories are to be remembered, and one day you'll be thankful for them. Making mistakes is a part of life, everyone messes up, everyone sins. But its when you make the same mistake over and over again that you're life is going no where and you're drowning. But when you make new mistakes, and new discoveries about yourself and about life by trying new things and holding fast to new ideas and allowing yourself to step outside of that comfort zone, I promise that your year, and your whole entire life will be changed for the better.
In some ways a new year is a daunting thought, full of doubt and uncertainty. Which is true, so many things are going to happen that none of us planned for, good things will happen and maybe some terrible things will happen. But why let the uncertainty hold you back from living what you love, and living you're dreams? It shouldn't. And you can do it, you can accomplish the goals you set your mind to, because you are stronger than you think you are. We are all stronger than we think we are. Trust me I would know. I was "kidnapped" and spent 72 in the middle of no where Utah, in the cold, and without tents, without anything you can reach for while your looking at this blog post. You could say I had nothing. But I learned that I had everything. Because I learned that I am not the person who made all those dumb choices before, I learned that mistakes in the past don't define you, they refine you. And I learned above all, that God loves me, and he loves all of us on this earth, and I know he will never forget about me.
2013 was by far one of the best years, if not the best year of my life! I had overcome so much to get to where I was in 2013, I had shed so many tears, curled into so many fetal positions, and did a lot of therapy to be able to make 2013 my year to shine. I want to take you back, to the years before 2013 so you understand how much I had changed, and how far I had come. In 2011, I was depressed and a lost 16 year old. Who hated her parents with every fiber in her being. I screamed at my parents that I wanted them to die, I cussed at them at the top of my lungs. I dreamed about running away, I ran away. I did this, all because I thought they were the devil, I thought they were trying to manipulate me and control my life, I blamed them for all my negative feelings because I thought they hated my boyfriend(which they did) and were never going to let us be together(which makes sense). Because in all reality I viewed my parents as the manipulative liars trying to take away my freedom, when actually it was my boyfriend/fiance who was manipulating me, causing my panic attacks, and my depression and bringing my life into a downward spiral spinning out of control. It took me a long time to realize that my boyfriend was the real root of my problems, because I was so quick to believe him when he would blame my parents, I was so in love and so naive and blind, and head over heels for this boy that his thoughts became my thoughts, and all I cared about was him, not even myself.
Fast forward to October, when my parents decided to send me away. They were afraid for my safety. What would you do as a parent when you're daughters therapist tells you to move your whole family away just because of your daughters crazy boyfriend. October 4th, I left North Carolina, not to return again until August of 2012, 11 months away from home. I was in Wilderness for 72 days, then spent 14 months at a therapeutic boarding school in Montana, in which I graduated February 15th 2013.
I had been through the ringer before 2013, with 2011 being the worst year of my life, 2012 full of pain but also healing, and 2013, a year of pride and overcoming the past.
In early January 2013 I was accepted to Virginia Commonwealth University to study art, at one of the top art schools in the US! In February I graduated High school, along with graduating the program. 10 days later, my mother and I took a trip to Europe and traveled England, France and Italy. We've never been closer. I can talk to my mother about anything, we laugh about the past, and we can cry about it too. She's now a best friend, not my most hated enemy. In march I started my first job at Dunkin Donuts, I loved it. In May, I got my first car, and I turned 18. Also in May I got a house! In June I took a trip to Chicago to visit my best friend from Summit, Kelsey. Over the summer we remodeled the house, and I got ready for college. Over the summer I visited my grandparents in Utah, went on a 2 day backpacking trip in Wyoming, and moved into my very own house! I began college on August 18th, and finished my first semester with As and Bs and a Higher GPA then when I left High School.
I also began writing a book with my mom about our experiences as a family and just my own life story. I have made a lot of awesome art work that I am very proud of, and I am confident in myself and over all so happy and I'm in such a good place in my life. Over winter break I have started my mission papers which is something I decided I wanted to do at the beginning of 2013, and hopefully this year I will go on a mission!
2013 was a blessing, full of love, trials, some tears(mostly happy) and lots of thinking and growing. I am excited about 2014, I know I can do whatever I want to do, and I have the strength to accomplish my goals. I am not afraid to make mistakes, but I will have to work on stepping out of my comfort zone more often.
This year I have some goals in mind that I want to share. (sharing your goals makes it more likely to keep them going)
First, I want to take a picture of something I am grateful for everyday. (either with my phone or my camera) In a way, I also want to work on my photography every single day.
Second, I want to draw something at least three times a week, and the bigger goal is to draw something every day! I already messed up on that one... but I will succeed.
Third, I want to work out. Like actually go to the gym. The gym at my school is one of the nicest college gyms in the states, and I haven't utilized it to my full potential. I would also just love to be fit, able to run without dying, and have a toned body.
Fourth, I want to eat healthier. I will cave here and there for my favorite sugary things. But I want to avoid sugars, and white flour, and processed foods as much as I possibly can.
Fifth, I want to share the gospel and my religion more, I want to be more charitable to everyone around me, and I want to hold strong to what I believe and know is true. I also want to serve a mission!!! And I hope that all works out! (I'll keep you posted)
Lastly, I want to finish the book that me and my mother are writing. It will be awesome, I hope it gets published, and I also think my life should be a movie, because honestly it was so dramatic back in the day, you'd love it.
To anyone who actually took the time to read this, even with all my grammar mistakes and what not, Thank you. Thank you to everyone who has made 2013 an amazing year for me! 2014 will be amazing, only if you want it to be.
With love, Arianna
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