Time goes by
1995
10 years
In Greece
16 years
Right before I was sent away
Wilderness Therapy
Outback 10/4/11
Summit Prep
July - Utah
August
October
Thanksgiving
Christmas
December
2012
Life goes by so fast, 17 years all in a flash. Just this past year so much has changed, Its hard to even make sense inside of my brain. Age 1 to 17, pre-school, kindergarten, middle school, high-school, Outback, Summit prep, who knows whats next. Growing up looks weird, but its always amazing to reminisce, looking back at all these photos, is a crazy thing to do, and they are barely any of the documentation of each of those years, or days, or months, a picture tells a thousand words, and many pictures tells a story. Everyone has a journey, everyone grows and changes, are you the person you want to be right now? Or do you want to be better, change is from within. Yet change began at birth, your always changing. So let the change begin.
Over the past two year my life has been tossed in all directions.
age 15 started a relationship with a guy who I thought I was madly in love with,
I got engaged to him, like Romeo and Juliet we were...
But things started to fall apart and I was hurting within,
My life at home was helpless, screaming all the time,
ran away one day in the summer, and all Hell was unchained.
My life was full of sorrow, conflicted at the core, I loved a boy who couldnt help me,
but what did i need help for?
I wanted love, I "got" it
but all in the wrong form.
My parents saw my frustration, but treated me with scorn.
They wanted me to be protected from all the pain in my life,
but protection came at quite a large cost,
October 5th or 4th
6:30 in the morning, two strangers in my bedroom
Airport, flight to Utah
3 months out in the woods,
trying to remember, what It feels like to smile again
Deciding who I choose, my fiance or my parents
I am 16 and so confused
At first I chose the boyfriend
But then I started to see straight,
family is more important to me.
But I was still in love you see..
December 15th 2011, sent away again
Summit Preparatory Boarding School
Bunch of druggie kids,
1 year of my life is stuck there
in a place I thought was like jail,
No freedom
Nothing really,
that you would always have before.
But in the end I loved it, I learned and grew some more.
I met some amazing people,
and I grew to happy again with myself.
From wilderness I gained about 30 pounds
from 115 to 150 in 3 months
I hated my body
but before I went away I hated it more,
even though I was tiny, I wanted to be more, So every week, almost everyday I threw up what I ate, and I never thought I was good enough, not for me or anyone else.
But I learned to love myself, no matter what I looked like,
and my beauty can be instantly recognized by just my eyes,
I went through the chubby phase at Summit, but I worked my ass off to slim down,
I've lost most the wilderness bloating, and now I'm how I should be
Beautifully healthy.
New boys and new girls,
relationships and flirting.
1st one was a phony,
second one a liar but I fell in love,
3rd one is amazing but we only had 3 months together.
Moving on from the past guy was the hardest, writing a 6 page letter was tough, seeing him in person again at a football game wearing his old jacket... Talked for about an hour,
Closure is amazing, relief of all the past,
no more silly feelings that I still wanted him back.
My parents and me are best friends now,
and before I used to hate them,
I turned 17 in Montana, what kind of place is that?
Its a place of beauty and repair, where I spent the last 13 months,
fixing all my wrongs,
But all my mistakes are forgiven,
No regrets I have at all,
One thing I learned most of all, is that God loves ALL.
renewed my faith in Christ the lord, my testimony grew,
I am who I always was, just with a new and bigger story, man the years have gone by, time really flies. So many memories made,
the good, the bad and the ugly, but their all part of my story,
And my story is great.
Life goes by so fast, 17 years all in a flash. Just this past year so much has changed, Its hard to even make sense inside of my brain. Age 1 to 17, pre-school, kindergarten, middle school, high-school, Outback, Summit prep, who knows whats next. Growing up looks weird, but its always amazing to reminisce, looking back at all these photos, is a crazy thing to do, and they are barely any of the documentation of each of those years, or days, or months, a picture tells a thousand words, and many pictures tells a story. Everyone has a journey, everyone grows and changes, are you the person you want to be right now? Or do you want to be better, change is from within. Yet change began at birth, your always changing. So let the change begin.
Over the past two year my life has been tossed in all directions.
age 15 started a relationship with a guy who I thought I was madly in love with,
I got engaged to him, like Romeo and Juliet we were...
But things started to fall apart and I was hurting within,
My life at home was helpless, screaming all the time,
ran away one day in the summer, and all Hell was unchained.
My life was full of sorrow, conflicted at the core, I loved a boy who couldnt help me,
but what did i need help for?
I wanted love, I "got" it
but all in the wrong form.
My parents saw my frustration, but treated me with scorn.
They wanted me to be protected from all the pain in my life,
but protection came at quite a large cost,
October 5th or 4th
6:30 in the morning, two strangers in my bedroom
Airport, flight to Utah
3 months out in the woods,
trying to remember, what It feels like to smile again
Deciding who I choose, my fiance or my parents
I am 16 and so confused
At first I chose the boyfriend
But then I started to see straight,
family is more important to me.
But I was still in love you see..
December 15th 2011, sent away again
Summit Preparatory Boarding School
Bunch of druggie kids,
1 year of my life is stuck there
in a place I thought was like jail,
No freedom
Nothing really,
that you would always have before.
But in the end I loved it, I learned and grew some more.
I met some amazing people,
and I grew to happy again with myself.
From wilderness I gained about 30 pounds
from 115 to 150 in 3 months
I hated my body
but before I went away I hated it more,
even though I was tiny, I wanted to be more, So every week, almost everyday I threw up what I ate, and I never thought I was good enough, not for me or anyone else.
But I learned to love myself, no matter what I looked like,
and my beauty can be instantly recognized by just my eyes,
I went through the chubby phase at Summit, but I worked my ass off to slim down,
I've lost most the wilderness bloating, and now I'm how I should be
Beautifully healthy.
New boys and new girls,
relationships and flirting.
1st one was a phony,
second one a liar but I fell in love,
3rd one is amazing but we only had 3 months together.
Moving on from the past guy was the hardest, writing a 6 page letter was tough, seeing him in person again at a football game wearing his old jacket... Talked for about an hour,
Closure is amazing, relief of all the past,
no more silly feelings that I still wanted him back.
My parents and me are best friends now,
and before I used to hate them,
I turned 17 in Montana, what kind of place is that?
Its a place of beauty and repair, where I spent the last 13 months,
fixing all my wrongs,
But all my mistakes are forgiven,
No regrets I have at all,
One thing I learned most of all, is that God loves ALL.
renewed my faith in Christ the lord, my testimony grew,
I am who I always was, just with a new and bigger story, man the years have gone by, time really flies. So many memories made,
the good, the bad and the ugly, but their all part of my story,
And my story is great.
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